Friday, June 26, 2015

Burton Blurberry

About eight months ago, I had my lemon of a car, Ollie, in the shop...again.  The mechanic gave me his honest opinion and suggest $2,000 worth of work on it but not to bother because my car wasn't worth investing that much money in to.  So, he diagnosed Ollie and told me he had six months to live.

Ollie is terminal.  It's evident.  He sounds like he could go at any moment.  He leaks coolant, power steering, and who knows what else. He's deep voice rumbles and grumbles, and he has a bad case of the shakes.  It's time for him to go, to find his rest, to get buried under ground.

And I couldn't be more thrilled.  Ollie has been nothing but a financial burden to me.  He got me around town, and we made a lot of good memories, listened to some great cassette tapes, had a few long good night kisses, and even toted up my bike so I could do a few bike trails.  Yes, Ollie, we've had a rough time together, but we've had some good times as well.

The other day, one of my regular customers sat down at the bar and started up a conversation with me.  "Jen, I hear you are looking for a car."

"Why, yes, yes I am."  My ears perked up as he told me about the 2008 Chevy Aveo with 62,500 miles on in, 26 in town miles per gallon, 36 highway miles per gallon.  He spouted off so much information, my head started to hurt.  "I would love to take a look at it, but what are you asking?"

He told me the price and for the first time since looking for cars, I actually thought, I can almost afford that one.  I set up a time to look at it, and took my brother with me so I could get his opinion (since cars overwhelm me and I don't know what to look for or ask about when looking to buy a car).  We pulled into the driveway and I saw the bright blue little car, "Oh wow, that is really small...I mean, I knew it was small, but wow, it's really small."

I told myself I needed a new car more than I needed a car that I wanted and couldn't afford.  I kept a positive attitude while I turned the windshield wipers on...before realizing shifting gears was done elsewhere.  Everything was backwards from Ollie and I'm sure I looked like a prize idiot in front of Fred and Deb while I tried to figure out how to get their car out of their driveway for a test drive.

A block later, I realized the little blue car wasn't so bad, in fact, I kinda liked it.  I was feeling spoiled.  It had air conditioning, cup holders, and a CD player.  I excitedly pointed these things out to my brother and he told me, "you really need to have higher expectations in life, these things aren't that exciting."

But to me, they are really exciting.  I think B sometimes forgets how I'm used to having less than more.  I haven't had air conditioning for 8 years, I haven't had a CD player for 10 years, and cup holders, you have no idea how much you miss them until you only have a broken one that only holds jumbo size cups, but then tip over because they are too big and un-proportional to the cup holder.

After the test drive where my brother thought of everything and I thought to pop the gas door, we realized it was a decent little car... and the gas door was broken.  Yep, the one thing I "tested" was broken...and we had to figure out how to close it to get it back to Fred and Deb's.

Back at their home, we went over every little thing.  Fred pointed out the rust spot, and a few other flaws, but assured me it was a good little car.  I told him I planned to buy it but I needed to check with the bank first about getting a loan, and I wouldn't be able to get to that until Tuesday. 

On Tuesday, I went to the bank to request a car loan.  I quickly learned that they don't do loans for anything under $5,000.  This put a damper on my plans.  I had half of the amount of the car in cash already, and I had almost the other half in savings, but I didn't want to liquidate everything for the car.  My parents said they'd loan me some, and when we got a totally amount of the cash collected, we counted it up and I was $400 short. 

"I'll run to the bank and take it out of savings."  I told my mom and headed to the bank.  The bank closed at 4:30 and it was 4:45 p.m., all I could do was get $200 from the ATM.

$200 short and supposed to meet Fred at 5:00 p.m.  I called my brother, and I wasn't sure if he still hated me from our hiking adventure or not, so I eased into the conversation.  "Hey brother, do you hate me?"

"Are you calling because you need money for the car?  And no, I was a being baby the other day."  He assured me.

"Well, yes and no.  I mean, I have the money but I can't get to it, but I didn't want to use all of it, so I could use some money but I really need some cash right now..."  I rambled somewhat coherent sentences.

"All my money is in the bank." 

I felt my shoulders sag.  I wasn't going to be able to get the car that day.  My mom made her appearance a few minutes later, she handed me an envelope with cash.  "I couldn't get enough money, I can't buy the car today."  I informed her. 

She dug out her wallet.  "How much more do you need?"

"I'm $200 short."

She pulls out a stash of cash folded up in her wallet.  "I don't really want to use this money..."  But she counts it anyway.

"$160."  She hands it over.

"Why is it so hard to find cash right now?!?!"  I scream in frustration, while my mom pulls out two more $5 from another hiding spot in her wallet.  And then my mind starts functioning.   I pulled out my wallet and saw that I had a ten.  We were at $180, and till $20 short."

AHHH, wait! Wait!  I remembered I found a $20 bill behind my license the other day.  I didn't recall spending it.  I knew it was an emergency stash, and I felt this was an emergency.  And sure enough, there it was.  We had miraculously come up with the $200 cash.

I headed to Fred and Deb's with a very thick envelope of cash, and we took the little blue car for another test drive.  When we got back, I told him I had the amount in cash, and with that, he handed over the title and I drove the little blue car to my apartment.
Goodbye Ollie... Hello Burton Blueberry

And then I ran to the store, and bought a pineapple, because it felt appropriate.  If you were a fan of Psych, you will understand.  I sent a text to my friends, letting them know I would be driving the blueberry, and both of them immediately got it.  One replied, "does Gus know?"  while the other replied, "don't ever let Tim Curry get in your car!"

*For the record, it is not the exactly same car as they use in Psych.  I believe they use a Toyota
Anyway, I'm still getting used to it, but I love the feeling of knowing it's not going to break down on me on the way to work, and I really like using the air conditioning. 


  1. It was amazing that we came up with the cash! BB is so cute, and I love the pineapple pictures!

  2. It was amazing that we came up with the cash! BB is so cute, and I love the pineapple pictures!


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