Saturday, December 26, 2015 that...

It's been a very weird holiday season for me, mostly because I have a man-friend at this point in my life...and well, I don't know what to do with him.

See, I told him weeks ago that I don't have any feelings for him and if he were a guy I had feelings for, his response would have been super sweet... "I'm fighting for you and I'm not going anywhere, no matter how much you try to push me away..." but, because of my cold beating heart, I find it a bit...annoying.

However, he doesn't care and he would be happy with 1% of my heart and would gladly settle with that.  This also annoys me because I'm a passionate person and I want 100% of the heart of the guy who has 100% of mine.  (Unfortunately, I have 110% of my man-friends heart and I keep trying to give that percentage back!)

To prove the difference of our feelings, I'll share with you the gift I got for him...and the gifts he got for me.

I bought him a $12 apple pie.  Not only that, I made him drive 30 minutes to a different city so he could pick out the pie he wanted.  He doesn't really like sweets but he does like pie.  I didn't even get him a card.

He...on the other hand...gave me his old flat screen television, bought me a super soft blanket, and lovely sterling silver with small diamonds in the earrings and necklace.  He spent a little more than $12 on me.

He also got me a card... which I thought was a little over the top....but had I had feelings for this poor guy... all of this would have been a heart melting Christmas miracle.

I'm going to a New Years Eve party with him... one that I've been dreading since he asked me to go with him....but I figured since I didn't even see him on Christmas day... knowing he doesn't have family in this country and he would spend the holiday alone....I figured the least I could do was go to a party with him.  After the New Years though, I am going to have another talk with him and prove to him that I am a cold heartless woman and his love for me will never change that.


  1. First of all, you are not a cold. heartless woman. He is just not the one for you, and it's very complicated when he thinks you are the one for him.

  2. Oh, my dear, I agree with your mom. You are NOT cold OR heartless. You are allowed to have feelings for whomever you want and are in no way obligated to feel or to act like you feel anything you don't. From a total outsider's perspective, I would say the best thing to do is make a complete break, but I am sure that is far from the easiest, especially if you do enjoy his friendship.


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