Monday, August 14, 2017

A Lesson in Resistance

A lesson in Resistance

Miss Prim, my faithful and ever so loving cat, rarely misses an opportunity to snuggle.   It’s the first thing she wants to do in the morning, the last thing she wants to do at night, and whenever I am home, she is by my side, anxiously waiting for me to sit down so she can curl up on my lap.  She is my steady lovebug, and because of her, I have learned many life lessons on unconditional love, faithfulness,and patience.   

Yesterday, she taught me about resistance, and surrender.

Even though Miss Prim is constant in wanting love and attention, there are days she likes to play.   We wrestle, and she will attack my arm as I go in for a belly rub.   After a few minutes, I will tell her she is getting too rough and I will tell her to give me kisses the next time instead of attacking my arm.  She calms down and licks the wounds she has given me, then snuggles and purrs like the happy and lovable cat she is.   Yesterday, she wanted some play time, and it was long overdue.  My schedule was allowing me little time at home and I had been neglecting our play time.   So, I got down on the floor and wrestled with her.   But, this wrestling was different.   She was much more aggressive, attacked harder, and didn’t seem to be playing.

I told her it was time to calm down and play, but again she attacked.  I asked again, but she attacked.   I quit playing with her before we got to the snuggle time.   When I headed to bed, she did as she usually does, and followed me into the room, and hopped up on the bed, waiting for snuggle time.   I went to scratch her ears and again she attacked me.  I tried to rub her back but she attacked.  The closer my hand got to her body, the darker and more distance her eyes got.  This was not the Miss Prim I’ve come to love.   This was a closed off cat who neglected what she wanted most simply because she could.   She was the definition of resistance.

I crawled into bed and closed my eyes.  A few seconds later, I felt Miss Prim’s nose on my nose.  I opened up my eyes, nearly going crosseyed trying to see her face.  “What do you want now?”  I ask, half expecting to get clawed in the face.  But she just looks at me with love in her eyes.  “Aww, there is the Miss Prim I know!”   And with that, she collapses, right in front of my face.  She lets out a loud sigh and starts purring deeply.   I hesitate to pet her since my hand is covered in scratches, but as I put my hand on her furry little body, I felt her surrender to my petting.  She purrs even louder, and when I stop petting her, she pulls my and in close, just to hold it next to her body.  She as fully surrendered.

It’s at this moment that I realize how resistant I’ve been in my life.  It’s more than just a daily occurrence of resistance.  I long for love, connection, and snuggles, yet I am always hesitant because I don’t want to get hurt.  In my resistance and self-defense, I am hurting everyone else who constantly wants to reach out and shower me with love.  I think about my relationship with God and how I resist His love, guidance, and grace on a daily basis because I think I know what is best for me, instead of surrendering and trusting that He will continue to take care of me.  I try to remember the last time I let out that loud sigh and completely surrendered.

As I type this, Miss Prim is curled up in my arms, digging her paws into my skin, because she is holding on tight to this moment.  She is in complete bliss because she constantly surrenders to her need to be loved, and without hesitation, goes for it...even to the point of annoying me.  This is what makes her life be fulfilled.  She needs to be loved and adored, just like many of us need to be loved and adored, yet we resist, fearing we will come off as clingy, needy, and annoying.  And all we really need to do is release and surrender.

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