Saturday, December 26, 2015 that...

It's been a very weird holiday season for me, mostly because I have a man-friend at this point in my life...and well, I don't know what to do with him.

See, I told him weeks ago that I don't have any feelings for him and if he were a guy I had feelings for, his response would have been super sweet... "I'm fighting for you and I'm not going anywhere, no matter how much you try to push me away..." but, because of my cold beating heart, I find it a bit...annoying.

However, he doesn't care and he would be happy with 1% of my heart and would gladly settle with that.  This also annoys me because I'm a passionate person and I want 100% of the heart of the guy who has 100% of mine.  (Unfortunately, I have 110% of my man-friends heart and I keep trying to give that percentage back!)

To prove the difference of our feelings, I'll share with you the gift I got for him...and the gifts he got for me.

I bought him a $12 apple pie.  Not only that, I made him drive 30 minutes to a different city so he could pick out the pie he wanted.  He doesn't really like sweets but he does like pie.  I didn't even get him a card.

He...on the other hand...gave me his old flat screen television, bought me a super soft blanket, and lovely sterling silver with small diamonds in the earrings and necklace.  He spent a little more than $12 on me.

He also got me a card... which I thought was a little over the top....but had I had feelings for this poor guy... all of this would have been a heart melting Christmas miracle.

I'm going to a New Years Eve party with him... one that I've been dreading since he asked me to go with him....but I figured since I didn't even see him on Christmas day... knowing he doesn't have family in this country and he would spend the holiday alone....I figured the least I could do was go to a party with him.  After the New Years though, I am going to have another talk with him and prove to him that I am a cold heartless woman and his love for me will never change that.

Friday, December 25, 2015

A Sticky Christmas Situation

Merry Christmas!  I hope you find yourself filled with love, happiness, warm moments, giggles, and making the best memories you possibly can.

My niece has been in town for almost a week.  Whenever she comes to town, life is very busy, filled with sweets, and very exhausting.  I get to see my niece a few times a year, so when we do see her, we are busy giving her so many new memories which wears us out...pretty quickly.  

She travels from relative to relative, having slumber parties with her Aunt Jennee, sleep overs at Grammy and Pappy's, and staying the night with Dad and Uncle B.   On Christmas Eve, she decided she wanted to stay with Grammy and Pappy since they had the tree that Santa would be dropping her presents at.  I also decided to stay at Grammy and Pappy's because I thought it would be much easier to roll out of bed and enjoy the moments of Christmas morning instead of hearing my phone go off as a wake up call, telling me to come over immediately so the niece could open some presents.

After the niece went to bed, it occurred to me that none of the presents from "Santa" were at Grammy's house.  And the niece is still a believer of the jolly old man in red.  We decided we'd tell her that Santa got confused and left them at Dad's house in the morning....only morning came....and there were presents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But after a quick inspection, she realized NONE of the gifts under the tree were from Santa.  She was devastated.  Santa had forgotten her.  Tears rimmed the corner of her eyes and she tried her best to hide her disappointment, but the sadness weighed her down as if a sumo wrestler was sitting on her shoulders.  I did my best to distract her.  I told her to get dressed and brush her teeth...but her mind stayed busy.

"Aunt Jennee, I think it was Pappy who drank the milk and ate the cookies because there's only presents from you and Grammy and Pappy under the tree."  She said with a heavy heart.  As soon as I had a free chance, I huddled with Grammy and Pappy, informing them of the about to lose her belief on Christmas morning!   A few minutes later, my mom and I were hiding in the bathroom and on the phone with "Santa" trying to thing of a clever plan.   "Maybe Santa left the presents in the garage...oh... the Christmas tree on the porch... yes, he couldn't fit thru the wood burner pipe!"

While we waited for Dad and Uncle B to arrive, the niece sat on my lap and said, "Aunt Jennee, I can't believe Santa forgot about us."   I gave her a hug and said not to worry, but I know it didn't bring her any comfort.  She was a child and Christmas didn't come!

And then the doorbell rang.   "Go get the door!!!"  I said with excitement, but it took me pushing her off my lap for her to go get the door.  She pulled open the door and not only saw Dad, but she saw all the gifts under the tree on the porch.

Her spirit soared!  Santa hadn't forgotten about her after all!  And how silly it was that we didn't look under any other Christmas trees around the house!  She skipped, she danced, she giggled, and she glowed.  Christmas was going to be wonderful after all.

But better than that.... it was DAD who bought her the present she wanted most, not Santa.

 And though she will figure out very soon that Santa is her family that loves her so dear, it's been so magical making her believe the man who loves to wear red and spreads happiness all around.

Merry Christmas friends.
May you all create some magic this holiday season.

Monday, December 21, 2015

Holiday Hustle

It's finally starting to feel a little bit like Christmas, even though we are still having surprisingly warmer temperatures here in Ohio.  My beloved little niece has finally arrived for the holidays and the Christmas magic is starting to come alive because she has brought her belief of Santa and miracles to the Thompson household again this year.

Now, I've been trying to get the Christmas spirit most of the month.  I've decorated my apartment with as much Christmas cheer as a typical elf but it still didn't sprinkle any holiday magic on my heart.   And then SJ and I went looking at Christmas lights all over town, and they were beautiful sights to see, brilliantly shining in the dark sky, but without the snow, it didn't feel right.

A few days later, I went to another Christmas light display, and much to my surprise, it still didn't feel like Christmas was a little over a week away.

And now, we are in the week of Christmas and though I'm going thru the motions of the holiday, it still doesn't feel like it's Christmas time.  However, when my niece first saw me, I was wearing my fury fury jacket and instead of saying hello, or I've missed you Aunt Jennee.... she gives me a hug and said, "YOU LOOK LIKE MRS. CLAUS!"

However, a little while later, when she calmed down, she told me in a soft and sincere voice, "Aunt Jennee.  I finished reading Holy Jamolie.  It WAS AWESOME."  I'm not sure which one of us smiled more.  When I wrote it for her last year, she didn't seem so thrilled at having a book where she was the main character, but now she's read it and liked it...and I'm slightly regretting my choice of not having book two ready for this years Christmas gift.

Since the arrival of the niece, we have filled our tummies with chocolate and sugar, built gingerbread houses and talked about Santa coming down the chimney.  It's feeling more like Christmas but I have a feeling it will rush by and I won't get to enjoy the season as much as I would prefer too.  Hopefully, with the magic of Christmas, time will slow down and I will get to spend quality time with friends and family, and not lose myself to the sugar and dairy that is already changing my mood and bloating my body up to a size I'm not comfortable in, anymore.  Whether we are ready or not, the holidays are here!  And since I know I won't have much time to myself until Christmas....I'm wishing you now, the happiest holiday season of all.  May the child like spirit of love, peace, and joy, fill your hearts and sound thru your laughter, as you spend time with those nearest and dearest to you.

Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Never A Dull Moment

For the last few months I've been working full time in an upholstery shop.  I manufacture restaurant booths for Wendy's and Outback.   Business has slowed down and my boss is doing her best to keep me busy to give me hours.  So, this week I have....
Painted her son's bedroom

Made her sister a Christmas gift

Put letters on a letterman jacket

Made a quilt for her son

Run errands..and a few Starbucks runs

I've picked the kids up from school, dropped her husband off to fix a vehicle, gone to Staples, and Joann's (which worked out perfectly because I needed to pick up a few items there as well) and it's been an interesting week.  I'm not sure how I feel about being a personal assistant... however I've decided I really need to start looking a little more presentable at work so if I do have to go out in public, I'm not immediately regretting my lack of effort in clothing, hair and make up.

How was your week?

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Jennee version 3.3

Today I turned 33 years old.  Gulp.  I'm finding it hard to believe I'm in my 30's....

Anyway, this year was a big year for me and I'd like to review what Jennee version 3.2 did with herself.
Jennee version 3.2

I dated a lot more than I ever have in my life.  I dated a guy I didn't like, a guy that I really liked, and a guy that I think I liked.   I was treated poorly and disrespected by some, and I was valued and adored by one.  I really like feeling valued and adored.

I started practicing yoga... and I've stuck with it for 8 months.   It's changed me mentally, physically, and spiritually.   I can now touch my toes, do headstands, and balance my body in positions I would have never imagined.

I changed jobs and got back to pursuing my dreams.   I'm back to my roots of doing upholstery and working on getting a full time job with my passions of health, fitness, writing, and photography.

I crossed the border and finally went to Canada.  I've done a bit of traveling this year.  Niagara Falls, Nashville, and tons of waterfall chasing all over Ohio.  

I published a children's story just for my niece.

I reached a lot of goals.

I listened to a life coach podcast to help with my broken heart and self esteem.  I continue to listen to the same life coach so those negative voices stay out of my life.

I invested in myself and my health.  I'm still learning how to say no, but I'm starting to get better.

I've searched out for adventure, I stayed active, I lived life to the fullest.

I overcame a broken heart, I lost some weight, I accomplished some goals, I had some set backs, and I bought a new car.   I've made new friends, I've mended broken friendships, and I've lost a few friends.  I've taken chances... on love, on life, on my future, on a career.

This year started with a lot of crying but it's ending with a lot of joy and laughter.   I learned how to find joy in the ordinary, and I've learned that creating joy in my own life brings happiness full circle.

I'm really excited to see what Jennee version 3.3 will do with her life, and I'll get to see it one day at a time.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Worth It

In July, I was approached by a Beachbody Coach to join her team.   I liked the idea of everything, hosting yoga challenges on instagram, getting healthier, making a couple bucks, and finally drinking shakeology which I had learned about while doing P90x....and Insanity.   The truth is, I always wanted to get Shakeology when I did those work outs but when I looked it up and saw the price.. I said NO.

So, knowing that being a coach would require me to drink Shakeology on a daily basis, I told the lady I'd have to think about it and see if I could afford to be a coach.  Everything was telling me to take the jump and do it, but the finances told to stop wishing and dreaming that I could afford something like this in my life.

Like I do in most things in life, I followed my passion.   Since July, I've worked out on a regular basis, I'm eating better, I have a better self esteem, and I drink shakeology daily.  When I don't push for sales, the financial side whispers "I told you so" in my ear, but I know that signing up to be a coach is the BEST thing I've EVER done for myself.

My sales record isn't the strongest but last month shakeology paid for itself which made me feel like I'm on the right path.  But then the strangest thing happened when I went to the store to pick up the supplements I use to help with my Hashimoto's disease.... I started checking on the prices of everything in the store.  I mean, really looking at the prices.

Because of coaching, I'm learning even more about health and wellness, more about supplements and vitamins, and so I started seeing the same ingredients that I've been drinking for several months in pill form.

When someone asks me about Shakeology because they see how much it's changed my life in a few months, I tell them to give it a try for 30 days... there's a bottom of the bag, money back guarantee but most of them say, "I can't afford shakeology but I'm glad it's working for you."

I slap myself on the forehead.   Is money more important than health?  Would you rather feel like crap and save a couple bucks or get your money's worth in a shake that can either be a snack or meal replacement.  The truth is, if I can afford shakeology, I'm pretty sure you can too.   Seriously.  You probably make twice the income I make, yet I made my health and wellness a priority.  So, I don't have cable, or go out to the movies anymore, or buy stupid stuff I don't need from online anymore, I INVESTED in my LIFE.  You can afford it if you WANT it bad enough.

So, while I was at the health food store, I tallied up the prices of 6 ingredients in Shakeology and it was $79.72.... suddenly $129 for 70 ingredients that lower cholesterol, prevent cancer, help regulate our bowels, aid in weight loss, give more energy, etc, etc, etc, doesn't seem so pricey, does it?   Breaking it down, shakeology is $4 a day....and you know what, I'M WORTH IT.   I'm worth paying that much/little for nutrients my body is craving for.  

I'm also worth the $50 top notch video series that I can use over and over for the rest of my life.   An average monthly gym membership is $55.... so again, is the cost that outrageous?  Every month, my team offers challenge groups with unlimited support and encouragement to help you get in the best shape of your life... the only thing stopping you from failing at getting healthy is YOU.  

Don't wait until the new year to start losing weight or get healthy, don't try that crash diet that you won't stick too, join me in the journey of loving yourself and getting healthier because you realize you are worth it.

If you want to take a giant leap of faith, like I did, and begin coaching because you need to commit to making a change in your life, talk to me.  I care more about you than sales.  In fact, sales is not my top priority as a coach... helping people get on the right path is.  I'd love to help you take the first step to your health and fitness journey, starting now.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

How I Scored a 32" Flat Screen TV

I've never been one to really care about television or what I'm watching television on. I can prove this by the fact that I've owned an "embarrassing" tv for almost 2 years.   I was shopping at Goodwill looking for a television when a woman told me that I could  have hers for free as long as I picked it up. It was big, bulky, heavy, and old but it was also free and it worked just fine.   I had no problems with this TV, but everyone who came over to my apartment made some sort of comment about my ridiculous tv.

My man friend cannot stand my television. He would refuse to come over and watch television when invited, because we can only watch TV at his house because he has a nice lcd flatscreen TV.  

He couldn't stand the TV was only 32" while his friends had 55" flatscreen TVs. So on black Friday he ordered a new flatscreen TV that was 55" - and LED a step up from his friends.


On top of all this he is moving to a new location, so the other day I went over to help him clean his apartment and prepare for moving… Because I'm nice… Not necessarily because I think this is the man for me.

This was an eye opener.   

I knew he wasn't the most proactive person, and this has been a big issue from day 1 of our relationship....but he didn't have one thing packed....didn't have one cleaning fact...he's never really cleaned his apartment in 15 months.  

He didn't know there were different kinds of cleaning....he's always wiped things down, that's all.

It was disgusting.

Like I wish I would have worn gloves and a mask disgusting.

However, I've never been afraid to roll up my sleeves  and get the job done, so I started cleaning....

And every room, I got more and more angry.   He didn't have any boxes, he was packing everything in Walmart bags.  

Three hours later, I collapsed on the couch, reeking of bleach and grime, having done deep cleaning on 4 rooms and he finally finished the half bath.

"I'm ashamed Jen, I don't know how to clean.  In my culture, the woman does everything in the house."

"I understand your culture but you're 35 and living alone, you have to clean up after yourself.  This place is disgusting."  I reply, completely heartless.

I can see his eyes are borderline tearing up.  He's embarrassed and ashamed.

"You don't have to clean this much."

"Yes you do! You're moving out! You've know you are moving for 2 months, you've had 4 days off of work!  All you did was play video games the whole time.  This laziness is a huge turn off."
Again, I'm heartless. 

"Jen, I'm a good person.  This dirt is meaningless in terms of our future..." He rambles on and on for 10 minutes straight, giving me every excuse he can think of.

"It's not the dirt, it's the laziness.  It's a problem.

He swears up and down he will change but the truth is I checked out of the relationship weeks ago.  The problem is he's a nice guy and I like hanging out with him so it's been difficult to end it....and he doesn't listen because I've broken up with him three times and he ignores it and then buys me a really nice gift.

So, the next day, what does he bring to my apartment?

His old tv.

Even though I told him I didn't want it, and that he's bribing me to give him another chance.  

I surrendered, took the tv,
and passed mine in to a resident in my apartment.